New Year, Same Dose

By Helmut Domagalski

Had you asked me a year ago to guess what I’d be doing today with my life, I would never have said “typing a blog post for my gay podcast.” I’m not alone. Each of us has spent 2020 in an alternate universe called (?)COVID.   

A Glance Back

The year – deemed by many to be a dumpster fire –  has truly been a year unlike any other of recent. This year the Universe pushed a pause button to say, “Hey you, you humans. What on earth are you doing?” And for what will likely bleed into some of 2021, we have stopped and had the opportunity to ask ourselves that very question.

Before I post much more, I want to acknowledge all the death and fear and hurt of 2020.  We lost so many of our own from physical or mental health – who are irreplaceable – and many who will not enjoy the same health they had before. Love and light to all the diligent caregivers and the families of those left behind. Better days will come.

We all shared many experiences due to the pandemic.  Across the globe, different systems of government and culture answered the call – showing us the best, the worst, and the reality of our chosen ways of life.  For Americans, the fear of life without toilet paper got REAL.  We faced our own mortality, and the reality of our limited time here. 

Relationships were tried and tested, broken, proven, and adjusted. Our financial health became a major question mark for several including myself. Some suffered greatly, fast, and swift. For others, it was a grinandbearit.  People got creative, people improvised, and people found new ways to fish. 

As the Universe expected, the social structure tore open and the Black Lives Matter movement shook our conscience. In horror, we saw some of the best and worst of ourselves and ultimately we elected to end a system of leadership that failed to prove effective 

A Look Ahead

In 2021 we will usher in our first female Vice President. As a father of three daughters, the future indeed looks female, and I could not be more pleased. But this did not happen overnight. There are millions of women and their male supporters that have worked diligently, in small and big ways, to make such things possible.  And that is why 2021 will bring you the Same Dose from The Gayly Dose.

Since creating this podcast and pulling together the delightful foursome of Dante, Bennett, Stuart, and myself; quite literally putting our individual and collective experiences our most private thoughts and emotions out on a public stage for people to judge – – I’ve asked myself many times “Why are you doing this?”  “Are you crazy?! “A narcissist?” “A know-it-all?” The answer that stays at top of mind is “Because it needs to be done.”

As a dad and as a late-blooming gay man, I have a peculiar intersectionality that many do not and will not experience. I walk between two worlds and sometimes literally within seconds of my day.  And as I have learned in raising adult humans, the more TRUTH with LOVE we shine on things, the more we share our real stories and lessons, and the faster we learn. 

Why leave a child in solitude in pieces of their life? A parent must bravely delve into the uncomfortable parts of life with a child. That’s our job!  We are not there for the easy stuff but are specifically advantaged and designed for the tough parts. And if we do this in our human families, why not in our chosen doll families!?!

Gayly Forward 

And so it is with The Gayly Dose. Not about having the most exotic stories to tell, nor the best perspectives on the topics, and it’s certainly not about being self righteous.  It’s about sharing where we are, when we are there; sharing those lessons we have learned with Dolls we love.

It’s about challenging our collective selves to think, to talk more with each other, and thereby move ourselves forward as a community. In the few months after having started this journey, my own perspectives have already shifted and grown. And, yes, that’s the point!

And so as we dive into 2021, our message and mission at The Gayly Dose remains steadfast and unaltered: to encourage and build gay men and their allies in an effort to accelerate our progress, continue to break down barriers of shame and silence, and ultimately play a role in elevating ourselves into our rightful places amongst fellow humans.

A Final Thought

We each have the power to control how we react to what 2020 brought to us.  That power, that ability, should be foremost on our minds as we consider the new year ahead.

Thank you Dolls for your unbelievable support!  Let’s make 2021 Gay & Bright!